Slighted
Greetings to everyone.
Today is my birthday.
Yesterday evening, Rebecca and Xavier baked me a cake. Xavier, who has yet to master the art of patience, presented me with his gift: a bell jar with two bees on a flower. It came from an insect taxidermist Rebecca came across when she and Xavier visited family in Washington State and Idaho last month.
Rebecca had planned a surprise outing for just the two of us. She engaged a sitter for Xavier, one who has sat for him many times.
As I drove Xavier to school this morning, Xavier informed me that he was "not allowed to celebrate" my birthday. His tone sounded put out, as if he had been slighted.
I asked him why was he not allowed to celebrate my birthday. I reminded him of the cake he assisted with and the bees. I also mentioned the hand-drawn card he presented to me this morning after breakfast.
His answer was: "Mom won't let me. She hired a babysitter to watch me while you and her go out and celebrate." Again, his tone held an edge of disappointment and and edge of anger. Clearly, he wanted very much to go out with Mom and Dad to celebrate with them.
Wow. Xavier's offense took me by surprise. After all, he is used to Mom and Dad getting a night out once in a while. I suggested to him we could wait until tomorrow to do the cake if that would make him feel included in the celebration. We also discussed how else to make him feel included.
I told this to Rebecca when she came home. The two of them soon surprised me with the cake and candles, and sang Happy Birthday all before the sitter arrived.
My takeaway from this was a stunning insight into the depth and complexity of Xavier's feelings and intentions. I was also impressed by how articulate he made his feelings known during the conversation that brought them into the open.