In the Ozarks at Last
Greetings to everyone.
Our start today for the last leg of our Ozark Expedition got a late start.
After eating breakfast at the hotel (and taking with us some fruit and milk for Xavier), we headed to church. In Wichita, it's not only the traffic which moves a little slower. The service began at 10:00. We were out just before noon and then we needed to lunch. We ended up heading back on our journey about 1:00 in the afternoon.
We had chosen a hotel near the highway so we could get on it and go. However, we chose to trust our Garmin GPS device, and we entered in the address of the church we attended. Garmin decided the highway idea we had planned was not optimal. Not knowing the area better, we blindly obeyed the directives given by that gimmicky gadget (more on our Garmin-led adventures are forthcoming).
Our Garmin (which we later named IRMA: the "I" for irritating) decided that we needed to leave Wichita via the most scenic route possible. She added an extra half hour to our trip right out of the gate. By the time we arrived at our cabin, we were convinced people pay Garmin services to direct people their way.
Finally getting on to the 400, we drove, and drove, and drove. Then, a friendly sign welcomed us to Missouri. Our travel headed south, and true to form for this trip, IRMA found the most indirect, winding, scenic way into Arkansas. We drove for an hour on winding roads and 20 MPH speed limits. All of us were asking "are we in Arkansas, or are we still in Missouri?"
Eventually, we crossed an invisible line demarcated by a non-spectacular sign welcoming us to Arkansas. IRMA continued to guide us through the turns and trees (yes, we were in the Ozarks now, and there are lots of trees). "In a quarter mile, turn left onto County Road 34" she instructed.
That lead us from a paved road onto a gravel road. Certainly, we were in the sticks. "In 100 feet, turn right" she directed shortly after whatever sunlight was still shining in the mid-evening skies was choked out by the increasingly dense trees which pressed in against the one car width road.
We took the advised right, something like a 6% grade down a winding path which may or may not have had a turn before some cliff edge, then stopped the car. We decided IRMA was leading us on a "Deliverance Trail" and we may have heard the not-too-distant sound of a banjo being strummed. We found our way back to the paved road. Rebecca called the camp ground where we rented our cabin.
After some explaining, and clarifications, the lady on the other end of the phone call said, "Well, you are in the sticks, aren't you?" You know you're off the reservation when in the backwoods sticks of the Ozarks, someone refers to where you are as "the sticks."
Our drive ended in a heavy downpour, but we did get to our cabin shortly after, again having to undo some of IRMA's directions. The cabin was nice. It had a large bathroom, utensil-stocked kitchen, living space with satellite TV, and decent bedroom.
It also came with some large spiders and other bugs. The spiders were Daddy Longlegs, but nothing like what we know here in Colorado. The Longlegs we encountered were three and four times the size, quite literally the size of Rebecca's hand; they figured once the front door was open, they could just come in as they wished. Often, that meant dropping down from the door header onto the person passing underneath. Rebecca used up half a can of Deep Woods Off (large size) on the doorway to help keep them at bay. That worked for a few hours, but then the rain. And then, more rain. And then it rained some more.
The bugs did not phase Xavier, who was just happy to get out of the car and run around. The first thing he found were the TV and DVD player remotes. As the microwave was reachable from his height, he thought the microwave cavity a better place to store the remotes. Also, because the microwave's keypad beeps, Xavier pushed buttons and started the microwave. Fortunately, Dad was already en route to save the microwave and the remotes. The microwave spent the week in the bathroom so we could lock it away from Xavier (who, at every opportunity, found his way into the bathroom where he either turned on the tub water, flushed the toilet or played with the microwave).
We also had to remove the knobs to the oven and stove top. Xavier found these before the microwave had fully moved into the bathroom. The knobs went on only when we needed to use the stove.