Manipulation
Greetings to everyone.
The title of today's entry might read "Playing One Parent Against the Other". Young Xavier has likely done this before, but we haven't caught it.
Setting the stage: Mom is in Middle Earth, reading (Middle Earth is a central room in the house). Xavier is in Middle Earth doing whatever Xavier is doing. Dad is in the basement, stairwell door is shut. Xavier is unaware of Dad's location.
Dad hears extended crying coming through the floor. It sounds like a tantrum, so Dad is not moved to check on the boy, especially since Mom is in the same room. The tantrum stops for a moment, then crying starts again. Dad begins to wonder: "has the dog injured my son?" Dad listens for Mom's call, or yell or something.
Dad hears nothing of the kind.
Now listening intently, Dad hears the crying change to something more urgent and upsetting. The sound of little footsteps and the loud crying moved around the house, through the kitchen, the formal dining area, the long hall, the Master Bedroom. Never are the sounds of Mom's footprints heard.
"Better check this out," Dad thinks, and heads upstairs. Following the sounds of Xavier's complaining cries into the master bedroom, Dad finds Xavier standing at the door leading to Middle Earth (there are three ways of getting to this room). The door is closed.
"Oh, you poor thing, you," thinks Dad. "You've closed the door and can't get into Middle Earth and play with your toys, your dog or your mother."
Xavier runs to Daddy, throwing his arms over his head to be picked up. His crying quiets, first to a few sniffling sobs, then somber solace someone has rescued him from having to get into Middle Earth going the long way around.
But wait! Mom has yet to tell her side of the story. Before the crying began, Xavier was climbing on a table. That is not allowed, so Mom told him "Off the table" and gave him time to obey. When he did not, Mom repeated the command as she picked him from the table and set him to the floor. Mom and Xavier repeated this two times more.
Then, Xavier found a ball point pen and put it in his mouth while running around the room. Not safe, so Mom confiscated the ball point pen. The crying and tantrum began.
But wait! Xavier has yet to tell his side of the story. Mom would not let him crawl on the table. Mom took away his pen. Mom returned to reading her book, ignoring his tantrum, his rolling around on the floor, his sad, red little face and crocodile tears. "Someone needs to acknowledge my pain," he thinks.
Changing the tenor of his crying, Xavier picks himself up from the floor. Making a loop through the house, he goes looking for Dad. Surely Dad will hold me and comfort me and listen to my side of things.
Yep. That's exactly what happened. Dad came up from the basement and did all of that. When I heard Rebecca's side of what went on, I felt played.